So I'm going to actually write about my life in this journal. Yes, I'm calling it a journal, even though myspace calls it a blog, facebook calls it a note, and blogger calls it a blog. But as least Livejournal calls it a journal. Greg and I broke up the last Saturday in November. Here is what we commented about it on Facebook after I changed my status to single:
Janet Liming What happened?
December 2 at 9:39am
Jonathan Regalado wait, what?
December 2 at 11:36am
Cassandra Duncan We broke up because I was feeling trapped, loosing interest, worried about what our future would be like, worried about him not being a member of the church. He worried about my religious views, how important I see being a parent is, what I think a marriage should be, doesn't want to pretend to change his beliefs to make me happy, and I don't want him to convert for me, so we decided to break it off. I am going to look for guys as good as him who are members of the church, highly unlikely though that may be.
December 2 at 3:52pm
Gregory Stayner You didn't get it quite right. I don't "worry" about your beliefs. This isn't exactly the place for me to go on ad nauseum though.
Last thing: Feeling trapped? Ouch. I never realized you felt THAT bad. You shoulda said something, I'm sor...ry for that. =8^(
December 2 at 7:11pm
Cassandra Duncan I had this whole plan where I was going to date lots of guys and get to know what that felt like. I said that. That meant that I still wanted to date other guys, and I didn't want to get so serious with you without having other experiences first.But I still think it'll be hard for those other guys to measure up to you.
December 2 at 7:18pm
Gregory Stayner Hmm, okay I knew all that. Perhaps "feeling trapped" has a much more negative connotation for me than for you?
December 2 at 7:20pm
Cassandra Duncan Maybe?
December 2 at 8:15pm
So, I hope that clears that up. My plan now is to try to date guys who are members of the church and have strong testimonies. I'm not sure how well that is going to work out, what with me being shy, and the chances low that I'll find what I want, but I need to try. Lately I've not been getting any work with the district. I've checked, and they just don't have anyone that needs a sub. So, Bridget is finishing her finals this week, and moving back here on Friday I think. She's trying to get someone to rent her place. She lives in a two bedroom two bath apartment in Davis right off the freeway. There are two girls in the other room, and the room she's in would have to be shared. I think she was paying around $325 for half a bedroom, and use of the rest of the place. She's only sharing the bathroom with one roommate. Their closet is pretty big. It's a nice place, just a little crowded, and I wouldn't pay that much to share a room. But prices in Davis are higher, and she wanted to be close to the college.
I was going to write about people in my life, and what I think of them. Like people I've met, not abstract figures. Mostly my family and friends.I'll start with my friends (those who might read this anyway):
Tami: We were friends in highschool, and I thought you were pretty cool. I still don't know you all that well, even though we've hung out a lot. You have your own group of friends, and since you moved to Texas, we don't see much of each other. It was fun to have a friends in band, it was cool that you introduced me to Alura, and made me watch Ranma and Sailor Moon. I still would like to hang out with you and you can be a lot of fun.
Alura: I remember you as the Blue Girl from Mesa. We wrote Animorphs fan fic together. You've inspired me many a time to continue drawing, or writing. I love your stories, you just need to write them down. Thanks for introducing me to Elfquest, elfwood, deviantart, Chrono Trigger, and probably other things as well. You are awkward on the phone, but that's okay if we get to talk in person sometimes. Anytime you want to hang out and talk, call me, and see if we have the time.
Mir: You were my first lasting friend in Highschool. We were in choir together and we wrote Animorphs fan fic together. I got a D in Biology because I wanted to read your Star Wars fan fic so much. I've watched you grow and change since then, and witnessed your family troubles and choices you've made that have changed your life. I have kept up on your journal, and appreciated your art. You have become a true artist, and a wonderful mother. I wish you the best in life, and offer my help if you ever need it.
Dave: When I first met you it was because Tami brought me to your rpg. Josh and Chad helped me make my first character, Jelarin. You are funny and eloquent. I wish there were more people like you. You consistently do what you say you are going to do. You are secretly a creative genius. You are perceptive, you are long lasting, and durable. If you need cookies, or anything else I can provide, just call me.
Amber: I'd heard about you before, and met you at Mark's going away party, and Valerie's wedding. But I didn't really get to know you until we shared an apartment for 3 months. You are more fun than you seem. I liked how much we had in common. Your little pet peeves I can deal with. People need to realize that just because you're not smiling, doesn't mean you are angry at them. However, I do find it hard to tell when you are angry. You are a confused person who knows she is confused. I hope you find what you are looking for.
Olivia: My only friend I've known since kindergarten. But even in Elementary school we didn't hang out much. I moved when we were in Junior High, but you were the only friend I had who didn't move away before me. You are open to new things, you seem to get along with everyone, you made me learn to be less picky with food. We have had some fun times. I haven't seen you in a while, but I keep forgetting to call you. You always are so busy, but I guess I should still try to talk to you. I hope you have been having fun and doing well.
Chad: Only recently have I actually thought of you as a friend. I first knew you as Tamara's boyfriend and then husband. You played in Dave's rpg. I am still amazed when I think of how much you have changed. You are fun to hang out with, and you seem a pretty awesome dad who misses his family and wants to contribute. I like having discussions with you, and will miss you and Tara when you move to Canada.
Danny: We were friends in Highschool. You were somewhat awkward, but still a fun guy. I'm glad you got into theatre and drama. It seems to have helped you out to be more expressive and confident. I haven't seen you much since you went to Chico. I'd like to hang out when you come for the Holidays if you can. You are creative and talented. You really make me believe you are whoever your character is when you act. You have an amusing laugh. You make the weirdest jokes. I worry about you now and then, but I hope you are doing well.
Ross: You are the kind of guy who brings people together. We make fun of how you are crippled, but you make it an advantage by having minions to do your dirty work. You are amazingly good at scheming. You are fun to hang out with and talk to. You are perceptive. Sometimes too perceptive... I would hope to have more rpgs at your house, but since you haven't called me, I haven't bothered to bug you.
Brit: You are very creative. You are very political. You are very passionate, and love to talk to people about the things that matter to you the most. A lot of people take offense or don't like what you say. They try to argue with you. You usually stick to facts or references. You keep up two webcomics that are pretty good story wise, and have greatly improved over the years artistically. I want us to finish that once shot rpg of yours that is going to take more than one session because we are slow.
Greg: So awesome. You love your mom, help your friends, do your school work, and try to be a good friend to everyone. I can't think of anyone else as awesome and cool and fun to be around as you. Maybe that has to do with the dating... but I think even if I were a guy, or not interested, you would still be a great friend. I'm sorry we can't be more though... I'll just finish this up with, You are a great guy Greg, and keep trying to be better and striving to attain your goals.
Angie: You are my long lost cousin from Pennsylvania. You finally came back last year. We were so happy to hear form you and meet you again and catch up on how you have been doing. You are strong. You have been through a lot, but you keep going. You are intuitive, you trust your gut, and do what you think is right. You care very much about how your son is being raised. You have great potential and if you try, you can accomplish great things. You already have accomplished a few great things. Ian is one of them. Keep your friends close, trust in the Lord, and know that we love you.
Brenda: Esther and I used to visit teach you. You are quite spunky, and even when you are going through trials you keep up a brave front. I love that french song you put as your voicemail message. You took me in when I didn't know where else to go. You are fun and funny. I love your taste in old movies and musicals. I haven't seen you in a while, and I know I should call you, I just forget, or put it off too much. I love what you are doing with your house, I hope to visit sometime and see how it has been going and hang out with you and Jake.
Esther: I remembered you from Institute in 2003 because you went on your mission to Australia, and you told a story about you and your companion getting locked out of your apartment and having to "gird up your loins". Your funny story about the professor and baby turtle was also hilarious. You are an awesome role-player. You have the know how to back up your character's knowledge. You don't give up and are always looking for solutions. You are dynamic and fun to be around. I'll try to call you and hang out sometime.
Heidi: My little sister who always followed me around. I kinda resented that you wanted to hang out with me all the time, but when my friends were busy and I wanted to play barbies, you were always there. Some things you do or say annoy me, but you have learned to repent and say you are sorry, and that was the thing that impressed me the most. You are fun to hang out with. You have grown so much, and I hope you remember how awesome you are. You have done wonderful things despite your ADD. You are my best friend and sister forever.
Bridget: You are kinda my favorite sister. I get along with you better, and I like to think we have a lot in common. Except that you actually lived up to your potential when I did not. You worked so hard in Highschool. You have worked hard in college as well, and will be graduating this Saturday. I am so proud of you. I admire you a lot for the things you have done and accomplished. I think you are fun to hang out with, and I would take your advice any day. I love you and want you to be the best you can be. I hope your mission will be as inspiring as I suspect it will be.
Lance: You were the first little brother we got. You were the cute little chubby boy. You were the whiner. You were sensitive. I'm sorry for the mean things we did to you when you were little. I worry about where you are going in life sometimes. I'm not sure if you have a plan. But you can worry about your future when you get back from your mission. If you listen to the spirit and try to do what it right, I know you will have an amazing experience.
Jared: I don't know you very well. You seem the most normal of us besides Bridget, the overachiever. You were the cute little one. You were the first kid I got to babysit. You were always spunky and energetic. You still are. I admire your dedication to the Track and Cross Country team at your school. I wonder what you plan to do later on. If you worry about things, or want to have advice, I'd be glad to give it. If you need help, and I can give it, just ask.
Mom: You are the one who made our house a home. You kept us together. You taught me how to organize a checkbook, how to cook, how to be a grownup. I remember getting along with you really well in Junior High, but after that, I got annoyed with you being worried so easily, and calling all my friends to find out where I was, when I had already told you. You need to work on your listening skills, and try to not worry so much. Do what you can, and then let things go. I love you and want to help you in anyway I can.
Dad: You were my hero as a little kid. I saw you as a spiritual giant. Also as the tickle monster. Our games of Hide and Seek were pretty rousing. You seem to have lost confidence in yourself. Try to remember that you are the same person who was successful. It doesn't matter if you are making money or not, you can still support us. Support us spiritually, and with the priesthood. Give us father's blessings, give advice, and take our advice seriously. I love you and look up to you, and hope you learn to see yourself that way.
Well, I think that is enough for now. I couldn't think of anyone else that is close to me, or that I ave been friends with for a long time. If you weren't on here, and want to know what I think of you, just send me a message.
